Monday, August 13, 2012

outside the box...

On Friday, my E2 decided it would start to rise... on Saturday it had given up again.  Enter a new prescription for my old friend Prov.era and this cycle is down for the count.

Honestly, I'm not really upset.  I look at this cycle as a nice groundwork for this Dr to see how my body repsonds. We are back in the game after what I thought was the end so anything that happens from this point is ok in my book.

I'm really looking forward to working with this doc.  I've described him as a bit of a mad scientist.  He is willing to look at things from an outside the box perspective.  Where so many doctors seem to look at a diagnosis and automatically slip patients into a designated protocol, he is looking at us and how we respond and what our testing looks like... looking at the actual numbers and not lumping us into a particular pile just because we should fall into a certain category.

Putting Joel on Cl.omid is big in my book.  Everyone else said, "nah it's not worth it."  He says, "why not... it's not going to hurt to try."

As for me... my body has never seemed to cooperate.  I never seem to respond like I should to meds and he is trying to find the why.  What else can we try in conjunction with the standard meds to get me to respond in a way that can help us reach our goal.  I love that he isn't slapping a label on me and is looking outside the textbook answers.

Why aren't more doctors looking at the whys?  From fellow IFers and from all the offices we have visited it seems like a lot of places offer up the Cl.omid, Fe.mara, Injects, IVF assembly line.  If one doesn't work after a couple of cycles you move to the next.  It's like here's your b/w and u/s, you didn't repsond like we wanted you to... proceed to the next stop on the IF train.  You have PCOS?... Proceed to Gate 4... DOR?... Gate 7 please...   

I'm not by any means saying all doctors are like this, but enough of them are out there that I feel like it makes IF even harder for us as patients.  We truly need to advocate for ourselves to get real answers.  "Bad luck", is not answer.  Self advocation though, is a post for another day.

"The important thing in science is not so much to obtain new facts as to discover new ways of thinking about them..."  William Bragg

Wednesday, August 8, 2012


In June, we celebrated our 4 year wedding anniversary.  It also marked a turning point for our family plans.  Here's the condensed version of the past two months...

While out celebrating, Joel asked what I thought about giving it a go one more time.  I'm sure the look on my face was priceless.  Just when I was letting go, he was taking the reigns from me.  We talked about everything like we hadn't in a long time and decided that it couldn't hurt to weigh our options with the docs.  Even if we didn't end up cycling, at least we would have that final peace of mind.

Less than two weeks later, I took a pregnancy test on a whim.  It was positive.  Less than a week after that, it was over.  The details of it all are pointless, we'll call it what it was... another chemical.

Moving on... I knew that the doctor I wanted to meet with usually has a pretty good wait list so I was shocked when the receptionist told me I had impeccable timing.  She had just got off the phone with a cancellation... could we come in the next afternoon?  I jumped on it.

The 3+ hour appointment that was a result of that phone call was awesome.  It was the first time it really felt right.  The dr's attitude, his ideas, his thoughts on our past cycles... everything seemed to fit.  Even Joel, who doesn't usually say much, was very involved in the discussions.  We had came for just a consult, but when doc said let's get started, Joel and I looked at each other - agreed - and went off to begin testing.

After fourteen vials of blood drawn between us, an ultrasound for me, and a SA for him... we were back to talk about a plan.  At last count, Joel's SA had shown only about 80K motile.  This latest test showed 1mill.  We have no idea how the hell that happened but we'll take it.  There are no guarantees, but doc wanted to try Cl.omid for Joel to see if there would be any continued improvement.

Given the increase on this test, we were given the option to try an IUI now.  While the count is still low, doc felt it was enough of an improvement  to give us that choice.  If not, we wait a couple of months for the meds to have a chance on Joel and then reevaluate after the repeat SA.  No improvement - back to IVF... Improvement - IUI.

After a discussion of procudure options and costs, we decided to give the IUI a shot.  It certainly can't hurt to try.  I began 2.5mg of Letro.zole the next day.  My body, of course, didn't respond.  Dosage was upped to 5mg and I finally have some action.  I'm waiting for today's bloodwork to see what's next.

It's been a whirlwind couple of weeks, but I'm feeling good.  Trying to take it all moment by moment and embrace that even if this doesn't work, at least we tried...

"When we are sure that we are on the right road there is no need to plan our journey too far ahead.  No need to burden ourselves with doubts and fears as to the obstacles that may bar our progress.  We cannot take more than one step at a time..."  Orison Swett Marden