Thursday, March 4, 2010

Needed a break...

Sorry I have been such a bad blogger...  I just kind of needed a break.

So, where to begin.  We had our wtf appointment last week.  Dr. B said she thinks it was just plain ole shit luck. The quality of our embies is good and Mr's sample was acually improved over his last SA which was wonderful to hear.
We are free to move forward with the FET whenever we are ready and she thinks that having less meds in my body with the FET may increase our odds a bit since my hormones were all over the place with the fresh cycle.

She also recommended I have an SHG for shitandgiggles just to be sure there wasn't something lurking up in my business that we hadn't caught before.  I had this done on Tuesday and everything looks good.

Even though we have the all clear, we are not ready to move forward yet.  I took this bfn really hard and I need some time to heal.  My heart hurts and the rest of me is numb.  Some days its easier to just ignore it all, and then other days I am so proud of myself for keeping my head up and moving on.

And then last night I finally had a conversation that I knew was coming, but nevertheless stung quite a bit.  My friend P, who I have written about before, is now pregnant.  I know that it was difficult for her to tell me and I hate that because she so deserves to be happy.  I am 100% thrilled for her, I am just so sad for me.  She is about 4 weeks ahead of where I would be had our cycle worked.

I'm trying to move past all the ugly and clear my head of all the what-ifs, but I know that this healing is going to take time...

1 comment:

Lisa said...

I have been thinking of you and saying prayers. FWIW, I think you are making great choices in giving yourself time. As hard as this is, to a perfect stranger you appear strong and very brave. You may not feel it, but that's what I see. Hang in there and I'll continue the prayers!
Lisa and Mickey from the nest