Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Beta...

Yesterday's beta confirmed that this wasn't our cycle.

Waiting for that call was pure torture.  We decided that since we had already tested, I would just take the call whenever it came.  It came while I was home for lunch.  Mr was on his way home from work, so I just waited for him, I wanted to tell him - not call him.  Well, the look on my face when he walked in the door was all it took.  He held me while I cried and with the words, "We have each other and that is all we need," I knew that he was right.  While my heart does ache and I know I will likely shed more tears over the coming days, we will be ok.

We do have five snowbabies that I am grateful for.  But we are not ready to head into a FET just yet.  I think we need some time to heal and clear our heads.  And, we had agreed before this all started that our cycles would be limited, so in all reality - the FET could be our last shot.  That terrifies me.

So, for now we are trying to keep our heads up.  We have decided that a vacation is in order so planning that will give me something to focus on.

I came across this quote today and I think it fits nicely..."Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light..."

12 comments:

the fourth door said...

Huge huge hugs Jamie. I am so sorry.

Tiffany said...

I am SO SO sorry. You and your Mr. will be in my prayers.

Stephanie said...

I'm so very sorry Jamie. You and your husband will be in my prayers.

Nixy said...

hugs. I'm so very, very sorry.

Renee said...

I'm so sorry.

Mrs.Laker said...

I'm so sorry. I love your quote you added at the end. I just wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers! Hugs!!

Jessica said...

I'm so sorry Jamie. I was thinking about you yesterday but didnt want to post to see how things went because I read your last blog post and I didnt want to add salt to the wound. Hugs to you and your DH.

Shanny said...

I'm so sorry =(
Nothing I say will make it better, you are in my thoughts and I'm sending you a huge virtual ((Hug))

Hope planning that vacation keeps you at least a little bit occupied...

AplusB said...

I'm so very sorry.

Tabitha said...

I'm so sorry hun. I know how if feels, how much BFN's SUCK! I'll be praying for you and your decisions and next steps!

ventingvagina said...

i'm so sorry to hear about your BFN. i'm a week into my FET cycle so when you're ready, i'm happy to answer any questions you might have. hungs!

wait, what? said...

I'm so sorry Jamie