Wednesday, December 29, 2010

excitement...

I am very happy to report that as of today, things are finally moving forward in the wonderful world of baby-making :)  Of course this leaves me with a lot on my mind and a whole lot to say, but this update will have to be short and sweet.

I started P.rovera today to bring on AF since she has been on hiatus and put a call in to the new clinic.  We have decided to go with the clinic in Philly.  What a world of difference I could feel in that one phone call over our old clinic.  The nurse I spoke to was great and very patient with my questions.

Basically the game plan is to go in for day 3's.  If all is well then I will go on bcp's.  From there I'll need to schedule a hysteroscop.y and mock transfer.  The remainder of the FET protocol will include Lupro.n and estroge.n patches and of course lovely progesteron.e when the time is right.  I could be off in my timing, but I think this puts us with a transfer of some time in February.

February... which is one year from our last transfer.  It's frustrating that it has been that long, but I'm trying to focus on the excitement of getting this show on the road.  Big things are in store for 2011 ;)


"Dreams get you into the future and add excitement to the the present..." Robert Conklin

Monday, December 27, 2010

Merry Christmas... the slacker edition

The week after Thanksgiving we began to receive Christmas cards in the mail from our friends and family. After the umpteeth photo card, my sanity was wavering.  Don't get me wrong, I honestly love seeing the adorable faces of nieces/nephews/cousins/friends/etc... but, there's always that suppressed pang of when will I get to do one of these?

So, one day I turned to Joel and asked if he was up for some fun.  How would he feel about putting a spin on the whole photocard?  We could have a good laugh and hopefully bring a smile to the receivers as well.

The result, in my opinion, was pretty great.  I don't have a scan of the actual card, but here are some of the photos we used :)


Joel's women's mock-neck and vest are quite stylish, no?

We are fully aware that we look like total tools, but we loved every minute of it and have decided to make it our new tradition.  We already have some great ideas in mind for future use.  

And the responses to our cards have all been great.  The laughs are still coming!

As for Christmas itself... It continues to be one of the best days of our year.  Our families and friends are all amazing, and we enjoyed the quality time that we were able to share with all of them.

I hope that each of you is surviving the holidays and looking forward to the new year to come!

"I wish we could put up some of Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month..." Harlan Miller

Monday, November 29, 2010

stockings...

When it comes to my emotions any rational person would think that with another new baby in my life, I may be feeling out of sorts.  And yes, I will fully admit that while holding sweet Cali and staring into those newborn eyes I felt that pull in my gut... that "I wish it could be me" or "when will it be my turn" feeling that threatens to break me.  But the feeling was brief and I pulled through by reminding myself that it wasn't about me.  It was about celebrating new life.  It was about about welcoming Cali to the world.

And then I went to Target... and nearly lost my shit...

A little back story... When we moved into our house however many years ago, the first holiday that we really got to decorate for was Christmas.  I love Christmas.  It has always been an all out kind of deal in my parents house.  My Momma could give MarthaStew a run for her money ;)  So I was super amped that I finally got to deck my own halls.

While shopping for decorations, I fell in love with Christmas stockings.  At the time I tossed around the idea of maybe buying more than just the two that we needed at the time.  Surely by the following holiday season I would be needing to set out three.  But I talked myself out of it and said that I'd take care of it when the time came. 

Those stockings haven't been sold since.  That is, until this year.

While strolling the Christmas section at Target over the weekend, I spotted them as rounded the aisle.  I stopped and stared for several minutes.  I know that I looked like a lunatic just standing there but there they were again, finally, and yet I still didn't need another one.  It hurt. A lot.  And yeah, maybe the hurt wasn't just about the stockings but it shocked me that something so small could be my tipping point. 

In my typical fashion, I packaged up the crazy and bottled up the pain.  After a few deep breaths I moved on.  I am tired of moving on.  I want to move forward.  In the meantime though I will continue to take deep breaths and remember that I really am blessed for all that I have to be thankful for. 

"If we fill our hours with regrets over the failures of yesterday, and with the worries and problems of tomorrow, we have no today in which to be thankful..." Unknown

Friday, November 26, 2010

thankful...

This year, we had something extra thankful to be thankful for...

Last night my sister-in-law went into labor, and at 2:17 this morning, Miss Cali Rose made her debut.

She is absolutely perfect and I am totally in love :)



Monday, November 1, 2010

birthday cake...

Today is a great day because it's the birthday of my very favorite redhead!

This guy...


I think he's pretty great :)  
Happy Birthday Love!

"All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much..." George Harrison

Thursday, October 28, 2010

the adoption theory...

I spent a lot of time with my friend and her mom after her dad passed.  I have always considered her parents like family and am grateful that I could have this talk with her and her mom.

I don't remember how we circled around to the topic, but the subject was one I had hoped to talk about one day.  I have always known that my friend is the product of, for lack of a better term, the "adoption theory."

The summarized story unfolds something like this.  After battling infertility for eight years thru countless treatments, prescriptions, and procedures a decision was made to pursue adoption.  She recalled to the exact day of when she made the call.  They were trying to get into a program that would only accept twelve couples. She remembers staying up all night for fear of oversleeping.  She had to be the first one to call and get on the list.

The adoption would be thru a religious organization that had very strict guidelines.  After 10 months of interviews, home studies, and the like... they welcomed home a beautiful baby boy.  She told us how the second he was placed in her arms that there was no question of where he belonged.  He was theirs.

A month later, she was pregnant.

With news of the pregnancy, there was a chance that their sweet baby boy could be taken away, but by the grace of God, he was able to remain where he belonged.  Their family of four was complete.

Our conversation turned to the stupidity of others and the lack of judgement/awareness/whathaveyou in regards to asking about the state of another person's uterus.  How after she found about her miracle, she cringed when people told her it was because she had finally relaxed.  How she never forgets how lucky she is to have been blessed with two perfect children.  How she will never forget those eight long years of sorrow.

Thirty years later she recognizes that same fear in me.  She didn't offer any, "it'll get better" or "the time will come" or "just relax"... she just listened and I am grateful.  In the midst of grieving the sudden loss of her beloved husband, she was able to find a smile as she recalled the whirlwind of that summer three decades ago.  We talked.  We laughed.  We bounced back & forth some good retorts for how to respond when the inevitable baby questions are asked.

It was nice to talk to someone so close who really understood all the emotions and hormonal episodes.  My story will not unfold like hers, but will nonetheless play out.  Whether it be children through ivf or adoption, or living a child free life - there is something great awaiting me in the future.

I believe that while we may not always get what we wish for, there is a happily ever after waiting out there for each of us.  It may not be what we initially set out for, but when we reach it... it fits just right.

"Hope is the expectation that something outside of ourselves, something or someone external, is going to come to our rescue and we will live happily ever after..."  Dr. Robert Anthony

Monday, October 25, 2010

life...

Where to begin...

With the passing of my friend's father, a whole new reality set it.  None of us really knew what to do or say, but I am blessed to have a very tight-knit group of friends that always comes through no matter what.  Our friend needed us... and we all needed each other.  A whole new lesson on life was before us and moving forward was a testament to the bond we all share.

Since then there have been more than a few weddings & birthdays to celebrate, and a new love entered my life when a dear friend welcomed a beautiful baby boy to this world.  He is without a doubt one of the cutest babies I have ever seen.

As to the status of my own uterus... we are still on a break.  Just about everything is in place to move forward with the FET.  With a little luck and a lot of faith, we can hopefully get going by the end of the year.

If I am being totally honest, as time has flown by, the fear has started to creep back in.  I know I am strong enough to fight it, but after being at a standstill for so long I guess the doubts and second thoughts were inevitable.

In an effort to keep my mind busy I have been on a reading binge lately.  From classics to romance and everything in between, I have been flying through books lately and am loving it.  I can't seem to get enough.  It's nice to escape to the world of literature and renew my spirit with the reminder that with a little imagination you can do just about anything.

With the recent spark to my imagination, I have also been sticking my feet further into the photography pool.  My camera comes just about everywhere with me and I am looking into a class that a friend shared with me.  From weddings to pumpkin picking - I'm having a lot of fun.  To put it in the simplest of words, I am loving capturing life... 

"This world is but a canvas to our imaginations..." Henry David Thoreau

Saturday, October 9, 2010

time...

I can't believe it's been a month since I last posted.  With so much on my mind and so much going on around here, I haven't really had the time to sit down and put together a post.  But, I hope to get some stuff together and get back into the swing of things this week :)

Hope everyone is enjoying the start of fall!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

birthday...

Today is my birthday.  Sadly, I cannot say that it was the happiest of days.

It honestly hasn't been the happiest few weeks...

In the beginning of August we said goodbye to a woman who was a major influence in my childhood.  After a courageous battle with O.varianCancer, Coach Sue passed away.  She was an amazing woman who gave more than she ever expected in return and who touched the lives of countless youths in our town for more than 30 years.

Last Wednesday we laid to rest a dear friend of our family.  Lou was one of my Grandmother's lifelong friends.  While no funeral is ever easy, this day was more about celebrating the long life of a great friend who is finally at rest.

On Friday we learned that Joel's uncle had passed.  After being diagnosed with stage4cancer in May, Uncle J opted to not undergo any treatments and lived out his final days surrounded by family and friends.

On Sunday, we suddenly lost the father of one of my oldest and best friends.  Ed was an amazing man, a devoted husband & father, and a doting grandfather.  That he will be missed, is putting it lightly.

The services for Ed were held today.  It was honestly one of the hardest days of my life.  To see my friend and her family in so much pain and with so few answers was extremely difficult.  We spent the afternoon reminiscing and laughing through all the wonderful memories we have.  But I know that there are many dark days ahead, and I pray that I have the strength to stand by their side and help them through.

In the middle of the day, a cupcake was passed to me, with the message "Just wanted you to know it wasn't forgotten."  My birthday was honestly the last thing on my mind today, but with that simple gesture and all of the love and well wishes I received today I sit here now feeling truly blessed.  I am one very lucky girl to have such amazing friends and family.

"Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day..." Author Unknown

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

100 posts...

When I started this blog, I had no idea where it would take me.  I certainly had not a clue that 100 posts later I would find myself where I am today.  While my original intentions were simply to have a place to vent, there is no denying that along the way this has become primarily a journal of our battle with infertility.

And I am ok with that.  I am who am am today because of this path and more importantly, who I traveled this path with.  By that I mean not only Joel and our friends and family who are simply the most amazing support system ever, but also each of you who has offered a kind word, or a hug, or a shoulder to lean on on those darkest of days.  Thank you to each of you who stops by to read my ramblings.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

busy...

It was a busy weekend.  We had yet another wedding on Friday evening (we seriously have more weddings than anyone I know), and I spent Saturday and Sunday doing a ton around the house (it's amazing what new curtains can do for a room).

Being so busy, I didn't really have much time to think about making a decision, but as I lay in bed on Saturday night it just came to me.  The clinics have only slight differences in what they see fit for us and I can totally understand both sides.  What seemed to make the the choice for me is that the Philly clinic seems a bit more personal - more time with the actual Dr.  Add to that the simple fact that it will be super easy to get in and out of the city for monitoring in the am via the train and the choice seemed a bit clearer. 

I talked it over with Joel and he feels comfortable with this choice as well.  We figure we'll give AF a chance to rear her ugly head (hopefully on her own), and then schedule my day3's and the other testing Dr. G wants to perform.  From there we'll get going with the FET... I'm thinking that will be Octoberish.

Oddly enough, after making this choice, I woke up yesterday feeling crampy.  AF has not showed yet and the cramps could have been a fluke, but I am hoping and praying that she makes an appearance soon.

And I must say that I have felt great the past few days.  My spirit seems restored.  Maybe with the cleaning and refreshing of the house this weekend, a little cleaning and refreshing of my soul happened along the way...

"One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged.  Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself."  Lucille Ball

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

trying...

Today was another one of those days where I would start a post... then erase the post... then start over and end up deleting it all again...

Trying to find the right words for the spinning thoughts... trying to weigh the pros and cons of each of the clinics... trying to figure out when we could cycle... And on top of that I was trying to tackle the mountain that is covering my desk at work... while trying to figure out the right balance of meds for my asthma that decided it wanted to kick me in the balls this week... if all else fails, the raspy voice that this wicked wheezy cough has left me with will make for a great career change as a phone sex operator ;)

And the usual me would be overwhelmed, but today was a fuckit kind of day.  I came home from work and left my worries at the door.  Only after sitting down now to check my blogroll, did I start to revisit my earlier thoughts.  Thinking back about the words that just didn't seem to form to how I was feeling.  And I guess that I've come to the realization that there is only so much I can do.  Over-thinking and over-analyzing aren't going to get me anywhere.  I don't mean to say that I will not continue to look at the options that lie before us, rather I have accepted that I don't need to make any decisions today.  Whether it be tomorrow or two weeks from now, the answers will come to me when the time is right.

This quote gave me good giggle today...
"There are some days I practice positive thinking, and other days I am not positive I am thinking." John M. Eades

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

FET consult #2...

Yesterday I skipped out of work a bit early to head to the city for FET consult #2.  Our ride into Philly was uneventful and we even lucky enough to find street parking two blocks down from the office.

We didn't have much of a wait and after checking my bp, height, and weight (down 2lbs from consult #1!), we sat down to meet with Dr. G.  After reviewing my records she came to the same conclusions about what went wrong and she also felt that even though the cycle should have been been done a little differently, our negative result was probably a case of bad luck.

The FET protocol is the same from all the Dr's I have talked to, so that discussion wasn't a surprise.  The main difference was that she would thaw our three day 2's and transfer back two on day 3.  If, God forbid, none of those three survived the thaw then we would move on to the day 3's we have.  I did ask what she would have me do if we were to do a fresh cycle again and her suggestion would be the long L.upron but she would change the dosages of the stims.

She would like to do her own work-up as expected, but for the most part, we could get started whenever we felt ready.  The office is really easy to get to and I am pretty sure that it's location would allow me to take the train in and out for monitoring in the mornings which would be nice.  The transfer however is at another office that is quite a bit further, so that will have to be considered as well.

Now comes the difficult part of deciding where to cycle.  I thought I would, but I really don't have a "feeling" for one over the other.  I know that I don't need to decide today, but I was hoping for some kind of something to help me make up my mind.  So, we'll lay it all out and try to work it all out, and hopefully sometime very soon we will be moving in the right direction.

"Good plans shape good decisions.  That's why good planning helps to make elusive dreams come true." Lester R. Bittel 

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

FET consult #1...

Friday afternoon we rushed out of work and made our way to Delaware to meet Dr. N for our FET consultation.  Mid afternoon, on a Friday, between Jersey and Delaware, in the middle summer is not an ideal time for travel, but the timing meant that neither of us would have to take off time from work to attend, so I didn't hesitate when the opening was available.

The drive could have been a lot worse (and the drive back was), but we made it in plenty of time only to wait... and then wait a little more.  But waiting aside, it was a great appointment.

We first met with Dr. N's assistant to review our history, and then met with Dr. N.  I really like what they had to say.  Firstly, my suspicions regarding our IVF cycle were confirmed.  I was started off at too high a dose of stims which, having PCOS, made my E2 jump.  In turn I was dropped and then eventually coasted which resulting in my loss of a lot of eggs.  While we still retrieved a good number, it probably should have been higher.  Her suggestion, should we decide to to a fresh again, would be to start at a lower dose and work me up as needed.  She would also suppress me with G.anirelix and then trigger me with Lupro.n, as another way to prevent OHSS.

In regards to the FET, she took the time to meet with their embryology department and review my records prior to sitting down with us.  We had three embies frozen on day 2 and two frozen on day 3.  While my original clinic only did three day transfers, this clinic prefers a five day transfer.  Her recommendation would be to thaw the day 2s, followed a day later by the day 3s and watch them all to day 5.  Dr. N's suggestion would then be to transfer back 1 and freeze what was still growing.  The transfer of 1 vs. 2 is something we need to think about still, but she feels pretty strongly about 1. (They have a tank that can be used for transporting our embies and it should be as "simple" as signing a thousand consents between the two offices.)

Another thing that we have to take into consideration is that they cycle everyone together.  The only problem with this is me being able to commute back and forth on their schedule as opposed to my own.  Not a huge deal, but definitely something to think about, seeing as it isn't exactly around the corner.

Something else that she gave us to consider is a study they are doing in regards to egg v.itrification.  Long story short, as part of the study our cost of a fresh cycle would be cut in half (plus the cost of meds).  If that cycle didn't result in a pregnancy then any subsequent FET's would be free.

In the meantime, she would like to do her own work-up on me including bloods, u/s, another SHG, and a 3hr g.lucose test.  We didn't schedule anything just yet as we have an appointment with another RE in Philly next week, but I really did like this Dr a lot and could understand her reasoning for her game plan.

We have so much to think over and that load will only get heavier after next week's appointment.  Honestly I am feeling a bit overwhelmed.  Some of it goes back to this post, where certain doubts have crept into my mind.  While in my heart I know that I want to move forward, there's that small piece of me that keeps saying well maybe all of this isn't meant to be.  I hate that.  I feel robbed.

So for now I'll continue to take each day as it is given and work through those doubts as they come.

"One day at a time, this is enough.  Do not look back and grieve for the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come.  Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering."  Ida Scott Taylor

Monday, August 2, 2010

paint...

Note to self:

Do not decide to paint the bedroom that you hope will one day be the nursery when,

a) AF has arrived after a nearly 3 month hiatus
b) you have just gotten home from a baby shower
c) you have been subject to more than 3 baby announcements in the past 24 hours
d) you forgot to eat dinner
e) you aren't thrilled with the color

Meltdown will ensue - I promise.

Thank God for wonderful husbands who take notice of the impending desperation, leave silently, and return with pints of waterice to calm their lunatic wives.

I feel much better about the color of the room today and think that once all the furtniture is in place and the bedding and windows are dressed it will really come together ;)

Thursday, July 22, 2010

excited!..

Guess who will be cycling sooner than planned?

Yep... Yours Truly!

Tomorrow I will be making phone calls to schedule our new consults.

Some happy things happened today that helped the stars align.  I am in shock and beyond excited to get this show on the road :)

Friday, July 16, 2010

disappointed...

When it came time for us to choose a clinic, we were fortunate in that there are several in this area.  The one we decided on was not only the one with the best success rates, but also the one that a friend had recommended.  I was optimistic after our consult (finally diagnosed with pcos), and was feeling great about our choice.

Now, I had typed out a whole thing about our cycle but the bottom line is, I am very disappointed in our treatment and have been looking into other Drs to consult with.  And, no it's not just because it didn't work.  It's because looking back, things should have been done differently and I just didn't realize it at the time.  Even after our WTF appointment, I wasn't feeling like the new plan would make any difference if we continued at this clinic.

So, knowing we would be on a break for awhile, I asked for a copy of my file.  This only further solidified that changing is the right thing to do.  One of the biggest things that jumped out at me is my diagnostic testing.  I don't want to be the patient that is trying to diagnose herself or question the Drs, but there are definitely some things that stood out to me.  So, when we make the switch I really realize how much I need to be my own advocate.

I''ve been doing a ton of research and while, like I said, there are more than a few clinics to choose from near home, the two that I am most seriously considering are out of state.  Fortunately they are still relatively close.  I had a mini phone consult of sorts with one of them last week and am looking forward to setting up a time to get down there and have a full conversation.

Making these calls has me feeling good.  Yeah, I'm bummed that we aren't cycling yet, but I'm excited to be moving in what feels like the right direction.  The state of limbo that our treatments has been in is starting to shift and that gets me smiling.  I guess I didn't realize how heavily the not knowing when/what/where/if was weighing on me until that phone call.  When I hung up, I finally felt like progress was being made.  I still may not know the when/what/where, but the if has finally moved from my mind...

Thursday, July 8, 2010

a start...

In June we crossed over the two year mark of trying to produce a little one of our own.  Our reproductive attempts feel like the halleysfreakincomet of fertility.  Yes, I know that is overly dramatic - we aren't waiting 75ish years between cycles, but so far we have really only gotten a couple of real chances.  Since I seem to cycle like a solareclipse without medical intervention, and the hub's "boys," while improved, are still not nearly where they should be, the odds of us making a baby the old fashioned way seem highly unlikely (a girl can dream though, right?).

This waiting in between cycles is tearing me up.  It makes me think of all these different scenarios.  Maybe we shouldn't have kids now.  Maybe we shouldn't have kids ever.  Maybe parenthood isn't meant for us.  Am I ready to give up and live a childless life?  The answers to all of that is no... and I know that... but the thoughts come jumping out at me some days.  (I can't help but to think of those that will read that and offer up the unwanted, "Well, if she is thinking that, then she really must not want a baby as badly as I do.")  And yet, when those thoughts come creeping in I can't help but to think of our life without children... the places we would go and the things we would see... and then again I smack myself and say, yo jackass - you can do all those things - even with children.  And then it all circles back around to the omgcanwepleasejustgetmovingonwiththeFETalready?!

And the funny thing is, is that even though those crap thoughts get into the cracks sometimes, I am honestly in a really good place right now.  I am happy.  I feel good.  As I said in my last post, I am busy living.  I'm learning to take the good with the bad, but it never ceases to amaze me at how one little dark thought can start the wheels spinning and the next thing you know you feel two cans short of a six pack and you are waiting for your poor husband to admit you.

If we could have just gotten pregnant like "normal" people, none of these thoughts would have ever crossed my mind. Yeah, I'm sure there would be days of anxiety about having a baby, but I don't think I would be questioning my abilities as a mom and my right to be a mother quite as much and quite as harshly.

I guess the whole point of this is that I hate IF for what it stole from me.  It stole the simple pleasures that most couples get to enjoy.  It took away the easy.  It robbed me of my rose-colored glasses, if you will. 

God, I don't even know if any of that makes even a shred of sense (which is why it has taken me so long to post and why getting it all out will take multiple posts)... but I guess it's a start to clearing out the chaos that can seem all-consuming sometimes.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Oh, heeey...

Oh, heeey... remember me?

So much and yet so little has happened over the past few weeks.  No earth shattering news to report or anything, but we have been crazy busy with weddings and birthdays and graduations and bbqs and trips to the shore... in other words - we've been living :)  And saying that makes me happy because as much as this blog has been an amazing place for me to get out the dark and twistys on bad days, and share the loving on good days, it makes me feel good to just shake it all out on my own sometimes.

That being said, there are a few things that have been swirling around in my dome for awhile that I know I need to get out.  It's finding the right words to express it all that's been the issue.  The perfect words always seem to come to me as I am falling asleep at night, but I know that if I get up and type it out, getting myself back to bed could be difficult... kwim?  So I've taken to writing down bits as I think of them, and slowly but surely my thoughts are coming together.  It's frustrating because I feel like there's so much there and then when it comes down to putting it down, I'm blank. 

I laugh at myself because what I have to say most definitely won't bring world peace or anything of the sort, lol, but I just gotta get it out.  And my thoughts are all over the place because there are so many different things on my mind that I'm sure it will only make sense to me in the end... but oh well... that's what it's all about in the end anyway, right?...

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Anniversary...

Two years ago today...

This girl...
And this guy...

Made this happen...



Happy Anniversary Love :)

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Happiness...

Sure our to-do list is a mile long, but we didn't care this weekend.  Between house cleaning and laundry doing, we squeezed in a whole lot of happy and this two-day weekend felt better than the three-day weekend we had a few weeks back :)

Happiness is your sister-in-law squeezing you into her crazy day to add some much needed highlights to your sorry excuse for a head of hair...

It's a Friday afternoon spent giggling with your favorite one year old who's smile just melts your heart...


It's a late Friday dinner with Margaritas and dessert at your favorite restaurant...

It's a lazy Saturday morning with a movie and m&m pancakes in bed...

It's a humid Saturday night laughing with friends while sipping on these...

Happiness is curling up on the couch with a good book during a Sunday afternoon thunderstorm...

It's Mom's raviolis and meatballs followed by a trip to get water-ice from your most favorite water-ice place ever...

Sometimes, the happiest of weekends is one spent doing everything you want to do, and nothing that you need to do...

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Bahamas Recap Part 3...

There are a lot of things we said we were going to do on this trip, but most of them didn't happen.  The lone excursion we took advantage of was a day at the Chat.n.Chill.

This day needs a little bit of background for true appreciation.  I am by no means a social butterfly.  I most definitely fit into the category of socially awkward.  I need to ease into groups and am very quiet until I get to know my bearings.  Joel, on the other hand is like the freakin mayor.  He can talk to anyone at anytime about anything.

While we had developed a great friendship with the bartender (shocker), we hadn't really gotten out there to talk to other couples for fear of my deer in headlights awkwardness.  But while chatting with said bartender one night we learned that a small group was heading on this excursion the next morning.  And of course, the more people going would help cut the cost, so he introduced us.  It was late so we didn't chat much but we agreed that we would meet them the next morning to head out.

All morning I was dreading spending the day with eight strangers but Joel managed to get me to the lobby.  The group was already there and the van arrived shortly after.  Looking at the van I was thinking that there was no way we were are all fitting and inside I was thrilled.  I stood in the doorway trying to convey such to Joel who told me I was nuts and to get my ass in.

I am so happy that we went.  The four couples that we spent the day with were awesome.  They broke down my guard in no time and the day was so much fun.  Joel even shared with them later about my desperate attempts to not go and everyone got a good laugh.

So, back to what the day was about...

The Chat.n.Chill is a bar and grill that sits about a 20 minute cab and then 10 minute water taxi ride away from the resort.

The island it finds its home on doesn't contain much else...
 
Inside the ceiling is covered with tokens (mostly t-shirts) signed and left behind from visitors.
(Some of our favorite finds were a Jersey license plate stating pmpn8ez, another stamped with jersey grl, and a Phillies Ashburn t-shirt)

We explored the beach, lounged in the water, and laughed the day away.



The break from the resort was great and finding such awesome people that we clicked with made the rest of our week more fun than we could have asked for.

I'll have three more posts for you shortly.  One will be a picture post, one will be a review of the resort and the other will be a review of some of the products that came along for the trip...

Monday, May 31, 2010

Bahamas Recap Part 2...

Rather than give a play by play of our daily activities, I figure it would be better to give a general idea of the goings on of our trip.  But, I will start things off with our greeting...  Champagne and a cold towel greeted us as we entered the resort.  From the lobby there is an amazing view of the main pool with the ocean as a backdrop.  Check-in took a few minutes and then we were ushered to our room with a brief resort tour/tutorial along the way.

Most of the buildings are three floors and the view from our 3rd floor room was nothing short of amazing.
The view of the ocean was beautiful.

View of the quiet pool.

One of the many lounge areas.

Not having to share a beach was pretty awesome.  While there were plenty of chairs, I do wish there were more umbrellas/huts.  I could lay on the beach all day,  but this irish girl needs a dosage of shade here and there so as not to be burned to a crisp.  Yes, I rocked spf50 every day, but that still doesn't give me the ok to take in the rays unfiltered all day.  


And while we only saw a mere thrirty seconds of a mist of rain, the wind on some days did make the beach a ghost town.

On those days, we lounged under a cabana at the quiet pool...

Or sipped drinks at the main pool...

If you haven't caught on yet, relaxation was the name of the game for this trip.  We wanted to not have to worry about a single thing and that was definitely achieved here.  The biggest worry all week was when we should get our asses up and make our way back to the room for showers and dinner.

After eating, most nights we made our way to the Drunken Duck which is the resort's pub.  Great music inside, live entertainment outside, awesome bartenders, and endless drinks are certainly nothing to complain about.  The food we brought back to our room each night wasn't what my waistline needed, but who the hell cares :)  


More coming soon...

Monday, May 24, 2010

Bahamas Recap Part 1...

While typing this post out yesterday, my internet dropped and I didn't have the patience to play round with it.  So I finished typing this morning and will add the rest of the pics later (ETA: pics are up):
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I don't know if I ever discussed this before, but mornings and I are not the best of friends.  I am much more of  a night owl.  So, when we booked our trip and realized that our flight was at 6am I knew it was going to be in an interesting morning.

After work on Friday I still had some errands to run before I could go home and finish my packing and list checking.  And before I could complete some of those errands, we had to stop and see Miss Leah and wish her a very happy first birthday.  We were sad to be missing her party the next day, but were so happy to be be able to see her and give her our gifts on her actual birthday.  After leaving there we still wanted to stop and see each of our moms and wish them a happy Mother's Day since we wouldn't be ale to spend the actual day with them.  So, by the time all was said and done, it was pretty close to 11pm.

I ended up taking what we will justify as a nap.  Seriously.  I packed, checked my list, showered, napped for about 45 minutes and then got moving again.  How I was able to function for the entire day is beyond me, but we'll go with the excitement of getting away.

Our flight from Philly to Miami was easy and uneventful.  Our over five hour layover in Miami blew.  There is nothing to do in that airport, no fun shops, no fun restaurants, nothing.  After wandering aimlessly for awhile we decided to give up searching for something to help with the time.  Napping was also out of the question, but my laptop was a lifesaver.  We found a corner and watched a movie.  Then we found our way to our terminal and waited out the remainder of the layover there.

While I jumped out of a tin can when I skydived a few years ago, this was Joel's first time on a small plane.  It was a quick flight, just over an hour, but we were seated right on the propeller so it was a bit of a noisy ride.
But, my God, was the view amazing!









Landind at the Exuma/Georgetown Aiport was a little comical.  To say it was small is saying a lot.  The plane had to do a u-turn at the end of the runway to complete our landing kind of small.  Baggage claim was a half garage door where bags were tossed in kind of small. 





Side note:  While waiting to go through customs, I decided to make a stop in the ladies room.  AF decided this was the perefct time to make an appearance.  Mother.F'er.  I mean seriously?  Do I have awesome luck or what?  But we were in the Bahamas!  And I wasn't going to let this ruin anything! 

Sandal.s provides transporation as part of their package, but our TA arranged for a specific driver to take care of us.  Dr. K was pretty cool.  He gave us a tour of the island, told us where to check out, and talked about some of the local lore.  It was a quick ride, but having him share the island with us made us even more excited about our stay...

I'll leave this recap here and be back with the dish on the resort hopefully later tonight :)

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Coming soon...

More on this...


Coming soon I swear ;)

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Construction...

Sorry for the silence around here lately, but I'm back from the Bahamas and looking to get back into the swing of things :)

First thing on the list is a bit of a blog make-over, so please bare with me during the construction process.

And of course, a trip recap is in the works as well!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

NIAW...

The debate over who to tell is one I battle over constantly.  While I feel that it is very important for people to understand infertility, I also don't want to force the issue upon anyone.  It saddens me that there is such a stigma attached to infertility.  It is not a life style choice, but some people have such preconceived notions about it that cracking that surface takes a sledge hammer.

While our families and friends do know where we have found ourselves, I am certain that it is not easy for them to really understand it all.  Little by little I have started to open up and find myself answering more and more questions in an effort to shed some light on the topic.  For those on the infertility road, are you "out" to those close to you?  

April 24th - May 1st is National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW).  It is a movement to create awareness about the disease of infertility which affects 7.3 million Americans (www.resolve.org).  Resolve is an amazing resource for anyone struggling with infertility, as well as those who have friends and/or loved ones making their way though the thick of it.  If you haven't heard of it, check it out.

Another great place to read up on some "Infertility Etiquette" is this blog.

And thanks to the prompting of the lovely Dandelion Bud over at Bloomin Babies, I worked up the courage to make this today's fb status: "Because 1 in 8 is someone you know. www.resolve.org/takecharge"

Thank you for all of the love and support that you have shown me over this past year.  I hope that I can pay forward all the kindness this community has shown me.

"Awareness is empowering..." Rita Wilson

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Jack...

You know all those stereotypes about little boys?  Well, when it comes to my youngest nephew Jack, they are all true.  He's tough.  He's ballsy.  He pushes you to the edge of your breaking point and then melts your heart with a smile or a hug.  An afternoon at the park brought us these...

The devilish smile that is just about always up to no good.  

His love for a dog who should be granted sainthood for all he endures.

He is a handful to say the least, but you can't help but love him all up :)